Living With a Roommate

Many residents arrive with great expectations about their roommate. Hopefully these impressions will be true, but stress levels have a tendency to increase during certain times of the year (e.g. Exams, Holidays, etc.). It is important to be aware and appreciate these stressful times as you and your roommate may experience some rough spots. It is very important that you communicate about things early so you can begin to understand each other.

Communication Tips

Communication is key to any relationship, and it is no different with your roommate. Remember that communication is an ongoing process and that leaving those “small” things alone will eventually catch up with you. Make sure you discuss the challenges as they arise and deal with them in a mature and responsible way. It is up to you on how much you wish to share and how you choose to share it. Common rule of thumb is being upfront and honest, and letting your roommate know what you are about and what limits you have. It is important to know your roommate and develop trust with them.

Things to Remember

  • Keep communication open and be honest about how you feel, and what you are thinking

  • Be willing to make compromises

  • Give your roommate the respect, consideration and understanding you want in return

  • Discuss problems as they arise with your roommate, and not others

  • If your ideas, feelings and habits change, be sure to let your roommate know

  • If you run into challenges speak to your Resident Advisor – they are there to help

  • Review our list of Roommate Discussion points below if you are not sure where to start the conversation

Roommate Conflict

If you have problems with your roommate, we recommend you first reference your Roommate Agreement, then speak to your RA as they may be able to help mediate the conflict. If this step is unsuccessful, please feel free to speak with your Residence Life Coordinator. Roommate changes are the last step in the roommate conflict mediation process and are subject to availability of rooms. Please note, room and roommate changes are put on hold for the month of September.

Two women sitting on a bed in a bedroom, smiling and talking. One woman has dark hair and is wearing a black t-shirt, the other has red hair in a ponytail and is wearing a white t-shirt.

Roommate Discussion

Discussion Point – Food / Shopping: 
Things to Discuss: If you plan to share food, supplies, etc. You may want to consider an agreement about who is purchasing necessity things frequently (such as milk, bread, etc.) and any rotation you may have for who will be supplying groceries or not. Keep in mind any allergies that you may want to discuss.

Discussion Point – Cleanliness / Cleaning Responsibilities:
Things to Discuss: Discuss who will clean the common areas of the suite and who will be responsible for general cleanliness of the suite etc, (dishes, dusting, clean-up, etc.)

Discussion Point – Privacy: 
Things to Discuss: Times as to when you may want to have privacy and what the arrangement will be for being equal and respectful to each other’s privacy.

Discussion Point – Sharing of Personal Items:
Things to Discuss: What you agree to share or not share (ie. Dishes, utensils, books, clothing, paper towel, toilet paper, computers, appliances, etc.) Discuss if you do need to ask permission to use these items. Set guidelines and limits for sharing.

Discussion Point – Noise / Study Times:
Things to Discuss: Having guests over, how frequently both of you plan to study each week, and what you both plan to do in the suite while one is studying and to promote healthy study habits. Discuss how often in a week friends can come over, how many, and how you plan to notify your roommate when you expect guests. For noise, discuss when you plan to study, and if the TV or stereo can be on during that time. What time is reasonable to be quiet during the week and weekends.

Discussion Point – Overnight Guests:
Things to Discuss: How frequently you plan to have overnight guests, how far in advance you want to be told about whether your roommate is having an overnight guest, any limitations to when a guest can or cannot stay over (ie. Mid-terms, exams) and any rules that will be enforced to respect each other’s privacy.

Discussion Point – Smoking, Drinking, Drugs:
Things to Discuss: Your drinking habits and how they may affect each other, and that both roommates understand the no smoking or drug-use policy. If one roommate is a smoker, you should discuss ways to reduce the smell of smoke that may remain in clothing and inhibit your roommate’s enjoyment of the suite.

Discussion Point – Parties / Entertainment:
Things to Discuss: How frequently you both plan to party in Residence and how social both of you are. If both of you don’t see eye-to-eye on this area, you may need to discuss ways that you can both find a common ground that will be reasonable and conducive to both of your enjoyment with the Residence experience.

Discussion Point – Socials / Entertainment:
Things to Discuss: How frequently you both plan to socialize in Residence. If both of you don’t see eye-to-eye on this area, you may need to discuss ways that you can both find a common ground that will be reasonable and conducive to both roommates’ enjoyment of the Residence experience.